你,总会在我身旁

我从不相信自己,　也无法面对现实
当生命失去了光,　我就失去了方向




前路依然很模糊,　要挣脱许多束缚
你让我依靠,　让我坚强,　你守护在我身旁




每当我需要依靠你,　你一定会在这里
有你的地方,　就有阳光　
你总会在我身旁




当我还不够坚强,　推翻命运的围墙
你还是和我在一起,　给我无限的勇气




路依然走得困难,　当我变成了负担
你依然把我紧紧拉著　我就是最幸福的

太多的恩典...
谢谢你，阿爸天父,因为你让我看到光而总是在我身旁给我上头来的力量。虽在每天的生活里都有许多的挫折，可是你一再二在的怜悯我这个不配的罪人。



也谢谢你，愿神也赐你上头来的智慧和力量。
谢谢你，因为爱着我，教导我如何更坚强.........

”没用“变成”有用“

"没用" 变成 "有用"



Just a sharing on what I've learn today.....



每个人都会有错，但每个人都会有用；
不会因为犯过错，就变得以后一无是处。
不错都已经错了，在这个问题上纠缠实无意义。
不如看看接下来能做些什么，可以补偿，可以改进。
然后从中换上新的全副军装。



不要因为做得不好而气馁，讨厌自己。
应该更加倍努力。
累了，就停下来休息一会儿。然后再继续走。
路依然走得很困难，但是只要有心和尽力就好。
不要就这样放弃。




世界还是一样的美丽。
不要自卑，因为一定有某些恩赐比别人强。




"自强不息"，不是每个人都可以做到。
有些"废物垃圾" 要一只把他们捡起来的手，并相信它仍然"有用"。
例如 :: 吸毒者

要毁灭自己的其中一个原因是 ::
“自觉无用”

我们都应该找回自己的用处，价值和位置。


加油！=)
Amen!


~GraceKoh~

妈妈的信

妈妈的信

昨晚从外面回来，发现垃圾仍在垃圾桶里，虽是意料中事，心里仍一阵莫名的刺痛。孩子，你从来都不会主动的帮妈妈倒垃圾，尽管我曾三申五令，乃至于千拜托万拜托，但似乎不曾在你心里起任何涟漪。

走进房间，衣服，裤子杂乱的躺在床上，地上；被子晚上还要改所以不要折；用过的卫生纸，食品的包装盒。。更是随处可见，为何如此？追根究底，是我们溺爱了你,没有把你管教好。

一直以为你还小，慢慢你会懂，时间证明我们是错的，“每个人都想要拯救世界，却没有人愿意帮妈妈洗碗”，这是多沉痛的呐喊！

再过几年，你可能离家，现在我不愿为这类琐碎的家事与你不愉快，因为我想 :: " 虽然你不喜欢做家事，并不代表你不爱这个家", 否则，你也不会休假时，宁可成天窝在家，看电视也好，打电动机也罢，有时还要忍受妈妈的唠叨。也许，希望也许，几年后身为游子的你，想起家中的种种方便，和父母的纵容，在不经意的刹那，会有个声音在你耳边悄悄响起...

“原来我一直如此好命”

期望你曾有的“好命”，能嘉惠你未来的家庭。
有人说 :: "孩子我们教不来，以后就让他的老婆来教吧!".

为了你爱的人，为了你的家庭幸福美满，我想不单是做家事，任何事你也会愿意为他们做----真如你的父母为你所做。


=============*=================*===============*==================*==========


看了这位妈妈的心情故事，身为女儿的我，有几分钟都无法言语。
熟悉的画面...

“养儿方知父母恩”

大多数人都要等到为人父，为人母，才真切的体会到父母的辛苦。这时才愿意放慢脚步，看看那已花白头发的老人。 幸运的人，也许还来得及回头，牵起父母的手。

虽然有时父母在于表达爱的方式有点迟钝，使得我们体会不到。或无意间在言语上不小心伤害了我们小小的心灵，不过到头来，他们也是最爱我们的那个。毕竟，上帝赐他们成为我们的父母必定有祂的美意。

你们作儿女的，要在主里听从父母，
这是理所当然的.要孝敬父母，使你得福，
在世长寿。这是第一条带应许的诫命。
弗6:1-3

~GraceKoh~

Rain and Raindrops

Laugh and giggle was all i had in mind as i ran under the rain. It felt as though we were dancing as the raindrops continues to hit our face. They came down hard but that's what makes it beautiful.

I could feel my messy hair flying all around the place and some sticking on my forehead as i continue to run, but i wouldn't care. I closed my eyes as i looked up the sky. I didnt know how to feel but continue to laugh and giggle.



I turned back to look at him, hoping that he would join me. Amazingly, he did. I still remember the way he ran as he smile.

I remembered the way he smiled.
I remembered the way I smiled.
I remembered that scene.
I remembered the day.

And as i recall back, i look at myself as though i'm a child again. If there was by any chance, i would love to do it again =)


Except this time, i will be dancing and turning in circles under the rain because it felt as though your burdens were washed away by the rain.



I would only laugh and giggle because it was a feeling, knowing that someone was still with you when there's a heavy rain. Sometimes through the journey, you would look back and find that person smiling back at you. Knowing that they got your back.

With that slight smile, it means the whole world to you. Because that was more than enough to keep you strong and keep you going through the rain that was coming your way.

Cheers people and God bless =)

~GraceKoh~

彩虹下的约定

我空虚的心灵, 终于不再流泪.
期待这雨后缤纷的彩虹
诉说你我的约定



我不安的脚步, 终于可以停歇
祝你, 因为我爱上了生命



闭上眼与你有约
是永恒的约



彩虹,
为证千古不变



我要高歌为生命喜悦
万物歌颂你的慈爱,
大地诉说你的恩典

我空虚的心灵， 终于不再流泪

========================*====================*===================*===




不知为什么，每当看到彩虹时，心里，有说不出的感觉。

感恩，
喜乐，
安慰，
盼望，
仰望。

眼睛也不知不觉的一直瞪着它看。
心里安静的想着，

“哇~~~!!! 好美哦!!!
上帝真是太厉害了！
酱美的东西，他竟然还会把它创造出来！
真是太神奇了!!!”

那刻，我感觉到他的存在。因为，感觉到他的应许是真实的。
世界上的万物都将废弃，可是他的话却长存。




在我们的生活圈子里，种种的压力都是会找上我们的。那是难免的。可是庆幸的，我们有权利去控制这些压力。就在于你要以怎样的态度去面对。有时，当你真真去思考时，你会发现，压力反而能指引我们的信心。经过考验后，就产生忍耐。



Okay. That's just the upper part. Having difficulty typing chinese =_=



Hmmm.. Just suddenly thought of posting something since it's been quite awhile since i last blogged? God knows when there will be a next time. Probably in two months time or so. hahaha..



But what i've learnt throughout these few weeks is that, i finally learn to put down everything including my own desires and let God be my guide. He'll take the lead.



And i realized that, when you put faith and trust onto Him and let Him take over your life, that's when miracles happened. Amazingly, but yeah!



我反而发现，当你选择顺服，相信，仰望与交托的时候，忧郁就会自然而然的离你越来越远。
那时候，你就会体会到 “喜乐”。
一次又一次的奇迹就自然的产生。

如经上记者说 :: "你们遭遇各种试炼的时候，都要看为喜乐"

我也学到，一个真正睿智的人以适当的角度看问题，并能作明智又敏感的决定。当你真诚的去对待每样人，事，物，凡事以谦卑，原谅的态度去对待，不去计较，不去埋怨，就算自己吃亏也无所谓。上帝都把这一切看在眼里。相反的他会更加倍的祝福你。

生命虽然软弱，可它却是何等的宝贵。

Life was never easy but at least, it was worth it when you're on the right path.


Great days ahead people =)
Cheers ~!


~GraceKoh~

朋友，加油！

听着她那伤心的哭声，我的心，碎了。




爱着一个人，却知道永远都没可能得到他，是何等的痛，何等的伤。看着他的房间，空了，走了。他的味道，他的东西，他的人，随着一切，走了。痛啊！！！




可恶的是，他不知道她喜欢上了他？没办法改变事实的她，也只能以泪洗面。而身为朋友的我，一时反应不过来。只能静静的听着她的哭声。




朋友，那时，我是多么的想拥抱你啊。。陪着你，让你躺在我的怀抱，摸你的头，告诉你“有我在”。多么想与你承担。我宁愿承担你的伤心，都不要听你哭的将惨。可是真知道，最后，你得自己面对这伤口。最大的敌人还是你自己，要学会放下。真的不容易。旁人只能给予支持与安慰。



你的心，听着它碎着，我都想把它捡起来。就算捡到手流血，我也愿意。




朋友，加油！我会背着你的。

Dedicate this song to you -
对不起，我爱你

No one says it's wrong to fall for someone. But often, it still hurts when they do not know. Worst come to worst, you know they will never be yours.



~GraceKoh~

感动篇‘一’

愿爱你能像个天使般守护着你 原来走了很久的路程

常从温着的变得冷却的 远处遥望着 祈祷着你平安

张开双手等待着你归来 怀抱

就像个天堂看着幻想 等待原来也可以是美好的

宝贝不哭 原来泪水不再掉落在不该落的地方

偶尔翻开日记 瞧着你留下的笔记 写着你我的名字

原来催眠着是自己 戴上面具的天使

受不了伤害 不给人看他不开心的一面

只收藏着回忆 给人看了他面具上的微笑

是躲在角落 关心着你 注意着你

清楚的是 远方瞧着你的笑容 淡忘的那一刻

给了伤口上的药剂 想念你的我 是希望你幸福

原来已习惯了爱着你 想着你

心里的挣扎开始解脱了

面具随着天使 飞上了天堂

微笑着 隐约隐藏着没人懂的感觉

他说爱你是幸福的

等你是开心的

不求回报的 滴着血泪 守护着她

像童话故事般 只是少了你能添补上的色彩

是黑白的 面具上出现了裂痕

原来爱一个人很容易 要放下她却很难

朋友 醒来吧 她不希望你是如此的眷恋 和期待

朋友 一路一起走 谢谢你们

woohoo!

看着那失望的星星，月亮留下了她那明亮的眼泪，

彷述说着我的伤心，我不再翘望着自己

将心比心，上帝的带领下，我看见了光亮

不再陷入黑暗内，不再哭泣，这世界伤心的人有多少，

我也不是唯一的那个，有祂陪伴着我，多少伤心也赢不了那开心

开心祂赐给了我 ‘恩典’ grace '

祂所设立下的道路指引了我的去处，祂为我铺下了让我将进入天堂的道路

我很开心，从来都没如此开心过，荣耀着上帝

虽然因为事业和功课等压力下，我曾冷淡，但我忏悔，我认罪

所以我要更加努力的侍奉祂，荣耀祂

做任何一件可以荣耀祂，让祂欢喜的事

道路虽然是如此的模糊，但我坚信着祂

感谢上帝 赐给了我这幸福 的生活

试炼虽然充满着波折，但我相信只要以祂为中心

一切都不再困难 =）

止。

You don't have to be perfect to let someone to love you the way you wanted to be loved. Always remember, being simple is the most perfect way to make me fall in love with you.

Quoted by Jia Hui

Somehow, i do agree with her. Simply because simple, reviews everything and that is when you start to love that person more than you ever did before.


~GraceKoh~

So much for a day..

First, i almost die today. A car was directly speeding down the road and the wonderful me wasn't having my mind focus as i drive out from a corner of a street. Thank goodness that car driver braked as hard as possible til his car made a loud noise and slipped to a side. If it wasn't for him braking this hard, I'm gone case. Plus, the head of his car was facing my car's driver seat. So, you can imagine if he continues to step on that accelerator, I would have had broken arms and legs. Maybe even head flying out and body being squashed. hahaha..

Sadly, i'm still alive.
Unharmed =_=

Secondly, I accidentally saw this lady at the field. Cuddling herself like a prawn as she sat beside a big drain by the road side. It was raining heavily but she didn't move an itch. I can see that droplets of water were streaming down her long black hair. Obviously, she's crying. I wanted to get out of the car and comfort her, but i didn't. What an asshole i am =_=

But looking at her, my mind got carried away again. Because that was exactly how'd i felt at that moment. I might not know what happened to her, but if by any chances, i would do the same thing as she does, if i had the chance.


~GraceKoh~

HER, my life ♥♥♥

When she was young, I used to stick to her like a magnet. Remembering the day when i first met her. It felt like as if I've fallen in love with the world most cutest thing ever! I've known that my cats and "cats that i USED" to adopt are beautiful but after meeting HER, she was the ONLY thing that i have my eyes on.




Remembering every night, i always peep at her where she was sleeping under my bed. Kiss her on the forehead after saying goodnight. Rushing back home from college just to see her. First sentence when I'm back will be always either "where is she?" or "how is she doing" instead of "mummy, i'm home"





Hmmm.. i guess at my 18/19years, i've finally know how to love people and things? Hmmm.. for the first time, i manage to find things that i could love more and put my love more on them. And yes, i learned to fall in love for the very first time. Maybe not on humans yet, but animals. Humans, maybe i've found one. But i'm not sure whether that person will finally let me walk in those those doors that their hiding themselves back at =)



Not denying that it WAS very tiring. But at least she taught me be to be patient and taught me to love her more even though how much pain and headache she gave me. And most importantly, she reminds me of my parents. Weirdly, somehow she almost has the same character as i did except that the fact she LOVES milk and i dun =S

Hmmm.. Why would i say that she reminded me of my parents? Firstly, she's like a mirror to me. She reflected me. And i have responsibility to take care of her, which in another word, i'm her "parent". She was soo stubborn til i often wanted to kill her and tell her "NO!" she cant do this and that. I might be looking and babbling like i'm angry and regretting for having her from the outside but one thing still remains, my heart always aches when she did something wrong and my love for her never fades a single itch. But this was only for a year?



Imagining my parents have me as their child for 19years. How tiring it can be when you have a daughter like me? Never once i realized any of this. Not until these few months. Blaming them that they never did anything for me? Arguing that they dun understand me? What's the use? Well, maybe i didn't blame them -.-

Last night(Friday), i went down klang for a gathering with the fellowship. On the way back, i got lost. By then, it was nearly 10.30pm. The road was dark and it's a kampung road. Yes, i'm afraid and i'm so FREAKING tired because it's ald night time. With no road lights on, i have to "extra" use my eyes power to freaking look at the road so that i wont bum into some dead animal body or bang some lorry from opposite of the road that i'm driving at.

Yes, i was pissed. I just wanna go home. By the time when i got home, it was ald 11.35pm. Thank goodness manage to find the way. Tiring but yet, as i opened the front gate in order to park the car into the porch, without any effort, she jumped into the car as i opened the gate. She sat at the car's driver sit and as i got into the car, she automatically shifted herself to the passenger sit and sat down quietly. Maybe groaning a little. Like she's saying "how's your day?"

I moved the car in. I turned off car headlights. Closed my eyes and lean my head against the driver sit with a sigh. This was when she came up to me and lean her head against my chest. I hugged her and squeezed her. She never hold back but she dig her head more nearer to me. I looked at her eyes for awhile and she looked back at me. She licked my cheek *in dogs, means kissed* i kissed her back on her forehead and hugged her again.

Everything disappeared at that moment.
Tiredness, anger, disappointment, fear.
EVERYTHING.

I felt that as if i've neglected her for awhile and finally having a few days to spend with her. It paid the price. She started to understand me and showed appreciation.

For the passed few days, I spent hours bringing her out because i was going through some rough times and i needed space so i've been spending most of my time with HER. Talking, running and just staying silence with her.



Back to reality, this reminds me of my parents coming back from work. All they need is just a little appreciation and that's the most wonderful thing that can ever happened in the world.

As a conclusion for this post, i've learned that........

Firstly, if you want people to love you, you, yourself have to start by loving them first. Especially the love you have for your family, sometimes it might not be pleasant because sometimes, not because they dun love you, just that they DON'T know HOW to show or to tell you that they love you. Blame them or whatever you wanna do, but by the end of the day, they are STILL your family. I believe that God had his own purpose for putting everyone of us in different families.

Secondly, Sometimes, when you did something for them, this will make them love you even more and they'll change. This is what happened to me and her. And i'm now planning by starting of at my family =)

Qiu Hong, a friend of mine, said to me: You have to start by loving God. Because only God's love for us is real. Without loving him, you wont be able to love others. Yes, you might be able to love others but not in a correct way.

Thirdly, Don't try to change anyone because that will never happen. If you did, congraz to you. But was that person happy with who he/she become? We do not know. But what i've learn is maybe we can start by changing ourselves ;) and soon, people will see YOU for who you really are. And you might not know, maybe they'll even change? =)

Great days ahead people..


~GraceKoh~

The end? Or new chapter?

Date :: 12 June 2010
Time :: 20:27pm

It's the end of our story?
Or was it the beginning of our new story?

No one knows
No one cares
Time, will tell.

Promise fulfilled..

Two years ago, on this day, at this hour. I was in my room and I was asking myself, "HOW TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE?" Daylight, i'm trying to be a tough girl who have no emotions on her face. No laughter. Nothing. At night, i'll be covering myself to bed in tears. I'm such a lifeless person back then. So anti social. Especially i'm starting to HATE boys but that was only a short period of time. lol. Not until i met my college mates. That's the most scariest part but thank God, i ain't interest on lesbian stuff altho i still do check girls out with Nelson everyday in school, even now still =p



Two years later, on this day, at this hour, I'm sitting in front of my desktop, typing this out.
Being MYSELF.
Being happy about my life.
Being happy being SINGLE. lol.

I couldn't believe howdah time flies. But it really does.

Yesterday, it used to be our anniversary day.
Two years later, it was not. Not anymore. Not ever after the following days or years.

What i'm trying to say is that, Thank YOU =)

Nope, not in a sarcastic way but in a way of thanking you for letting me see the world for once and letting me to do things that i've always wanted to do most, which are crazy shits ;)

And thank you for hurting me because if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have been a better person today. Mostly childish i guess. lol.




Thank you for letting me know how it was like to fell in love and to be loved back at the same time. Although i'm not sure by then do i really understand the meaning of "LOVE" but I'm sure most of my actions that i had done towards you already said it all.


And to you, Yu Shi Yang, i've shown and prove to you what i can do and i've kept my promise to you for being single.



Yes, this promise is for you and myself.

I'm doing it for you, is because you're the only one left to help me through with my sorrows by then. Remembering that night, Yeah, those harsh words, those tears, those eyes, those disappointment, you've told me over and over again. And in the end, you made me make this promise. Not knowing would i make it, you doubt. But in order to prove it to you that "I CAN!!!", i bared the pain til it numbed me. Til it fade away.......

I'm doing it for myself is because i still have my parents to depend on me later in life and i know that they would never survive later in life without me. I'm doing it for my future, my SPM cert, my trust towards my parents. EVERYTHING. I'm walking on storns as each steps i take. But because of this, i was a better person today.



Not easy i could say. Especially when your parents tend to always doubt you every single hours and days and accuse that you're lying to them which made you dont even know you should say the truth or tell lies. Because when you tell them the truth, they think you're lying and when you didn't tell them, it gets even uglier. Obviously, TRUST wasn't there anymore. All they know is to add oil into the fire which burns you til you dun even felt like living anymore.



Another thank you to my precious beloved Father in Heaven. With YOU, with your love, your hands and your words, my scars and wounds are heal. Not immediately but slowly. Often enough, i kneeled before you to search for you for support because there was none in this world and i'm lost. Everything seems so meaningless yet, you've used so many people in my life to help me out through this hard time. Coincidentally? No, because I've known all this while, you allowed these people to appear because it was part of your plan in my life. I've been blessed and even til today, i am still. Sometimes things still doesn't goes as perfect as it should be =)



But one thing for sure, I've never been happier than before. In this two years, I've learn to love life more when you're still single because there's so much you can do without being attach to anyone. You're on your own. No one to tied you up. No one to control you on what you're doing. No one who will worry or care about you, no one who will stick to you like a sticky glue til you cant even breathe etc, vice verse. I've learn to grow and find myself for who i really am and what I'm capable of instead of always not having my own stands and view. I've learn about, every page of our life is a new chapter. So what if it ends? Why am i even holding back from making new memories. But obviously, it took a year later from making me realizing that -.- dang~!

Yeap, hard enough to keep a promise when you've made it because things will still tempted you from the corner of our sideways as we walked in life but it's up to us to set our minds straight and say............

"Hey, no. Come back! Promise is more important.

I've made it, then fulfill it!

Don't be like other people.

I MUST take responsibility for what i've promised

and show them I CAN!!!"

Who cares if the person who you've told to forgotten what you've used to promise to him/her about, as long you still remember what you, yourself promised. then, fulfill it!

I've just never been this proud of myself. lol. Cheh =p
But really, the journey was.. indescribable. For those who've been through heart breaks. As in the real real real heart breaks, you'll understand how'd it felt like ;)

It took me years to overcome it. And i'm now officially over it. Only memories that were left to be remembered ;) not ever once, i blamed or complain about why do i have to meet you or go through all this with you but only grateful. Hopefully you're doing great in life too, because i am =)

Cheers~!!!!

Great days ahead people..


~GraceKoh~

I remembered that night......

The night was cold, the wind was strong. I still remembered the 5 of us were walking across the seafront. It was night time. I wasn't concentrating on what they're talking because i was covered up in my own imagination world.

As i walked, I remembered feeling of the soft sands saying "HELLO" to my little feet. They were melting against me as i take each steps on 'em.
I remembered seeing the stars twinkling above me as i looked up to the dark blue sky.
I remembered seeing the beautiful moon that I've never seen back in Subang.
I remembered hearing the waves crashing against the shore gently.
I remembered the wind blew against my cheeks. Strong but gentle and comforting.
I remembered seeing yellowish light bulbs on my right where music filled the air. People were dancing, eating, playing with sands and some were even dating. lol.


Amazing how'd it all felt, and that's when i thought of YOU.

"How Great Thou Art" was the song that describes it all. I remembered the other day, i don't get it why as i sang that song, tears started to float and soon, they started drifting down on my cheeks.

How i wish i could turn back time when i'm still at Redang when everything just seems right. I regretted for not doing the one thing i've always wanted to do when i get the chance to be on the beach. Which is lay myself on the soft sands and looking up to the stars.

I've always wanted to do that but i just don't get it why didn't i do so during then -.-

I guess we all have our own side on what we wanted/planned to do when we get the chance to be on beaches, huh? Well, com'on, more or less, sometimes we'll tend to imagine things that are not gonna happen and which it's crazy -.-




Sometimes, some people will tend imagine to have a fairytale story on the beach. Some, hmmm.. I don't know. But yeah, i admit -.- Sometimes i do wish there will be fairytales but obviously, those are just bullshits -.-

But whenever i think of beaches, all i wanted to is to lay there in silence. Even alone or with a person will do. If that's someone special, like a BEST BEST friend or just anyone who's important to me, it would be more beautiful. But i prefer to stay silent. Because all I wanted to do at that moment is to listen to the sound of the waves which are so incredibly beautiful. Or maybe run like a small kid at the seafront but people might think i'm crazy -.-

Okay -.-
I'm feeling like such an idiot for saying stuff like this.
But overall, i just feel like going back to beaches and do the one thing that i could do =( But will there be another chance of doing so? Laying down on those soft sands and look up to the sky and hear the sound of those waves?

I don't know...................

~GraceKoh~

If i just know you better...

Until today, i've finally decided to write what i wanted to tell you people and this had been bothering me for quite some time.

I'm so grateful that i've knew you guys and that you guys existed and show me what FRIENDSHIP really is. Especially the BOYS. My mum even compliment some of you. Like Gen, Ken, Jason Tam, Raymond and Jack etc.. Those who she'd met. You boys really caught me of guard and open my eyes to see certain things that i'm almost giving up on. Having to share how does it feels like to be in a friendship with you guys, i couldn't describe the feeling in words but it is just AMAZING! =D


But what i regret most is i that i never ever get the chance to know each and everyone of YOU better =(

As i was writing this, i realized one thing. I've used to make this prayer over and over again for years. How could i not realized it ever since the begining? *laugh at myself*

Well, God is mighty and good =)
He does listens =)

Each and everyone of us will be going our own different ways but hopefully this FRIENDSHIP that we once had will be kept and remembered =)



I appreciated spending every single minutes and days with ya all, how about you? ;)
Cheers~!

~GraceKoh~

Wound?

Sometimes it just tears you apart. Something inside you, tearing your meat out. Little by little, til your blood starts to drip. The next thing you know, you're all by yourself with your wound again. So why putting in so much when you know it hurts so badly? Call yourself a dummy because often, we are one =)




Wanted to turn to someone so badly but you just dunno who to turn to. In the end, you can only whisper to yourself and cried yourself to bed.

How'd that happened?

Was that what had happened? In an blink of an eye, everything seems to spin around like a ball being spinned without direction. What's next?




Fear, guilt and sorrows filled in as i thought about HER. Don't want to be that bad ones but it just happened.

I Never Told YOU

I miss those blue eyes
How you kissed me at night
I miss the way we see
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you.
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about YOU

I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not around you
It's like I'm gone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you.
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about YOU

I can't believe I still want You
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Looking at him.......

Looking at him missing her every single second reminded me of so many stuff. When you love someone, you're willing to give everything, just about EVERYTHING to that person. I was once like that, but i guess now, i'm not anymore.

A person who was once hurt in love, will never give out as much as they used before.

Looking at him, waiting patiently for her approach and appear every single second, minute, hour, day. My heart aches but felt proud that at least there's a guy who finally showed me that they're like me too. And that they're not like some other jerk who played around and will never appreciates a girl. So at least i'm not one of those stupid ones to wait like that.



Wanting her so desperately to be by his side, but there's nothing he can do. Wait, was the only thing that he can do. Often enough, he wanted to be by her side. Protect her and give her the comfort that he could to make her feel so much better when she's out there in the world, seeing new things and feels lonely during those nights.


If you were to be given a task, the person who you're waiting for, doesn't seems to see or realize every sacrifice that you've made, what would you do? You tried telling them but they tend to forget about what you said later on. Was that even your fault? Or was that just meant to be?


Often felt that you need a break from this whole shit, but still afraid of losing the one that you love so dearly to slip away during this "break".

What if this relationship can't make it?
Are you going to blame the world just because of what she had done to you?

就因她，你宁愿伤害那些无辜的女孩子?

But does these girls deserves to be hurt? Yes, i know that you're once hurt, BADLY. But that doesn't mean all girls are the same. Some girls are not HER. They don't deserve to be hurt when they're giving in in a relationship just like how you're giving in right now. To be honest, I don't really know what to say. But what i heard, it hurts me and it disappointed me. Tell me i'm not understandable but i'm sure i went through that before and time, is all the answers.


I don't know what stage are we at now but i was very very grateful that you shared with me about this the other night. Because this increased my self esteem. Bet you don't know ;)

I felt that, "Hey! At least i'm trustworthy for you." You wouldn't know how joyful i am. Finally we sat down together and talk. I was very happy to be your listener and i'm more willing too. But what i regret later on, I was reminded that maybe sometimes, when you felt like pointing out your views, you should say it out.



I often know that what i wanted to say but as not to offend you, i rather not tell you that you're doing something very very wrong. I wanted to tell you to stop, I wanted to shake you and call you to wake up, i wanted to shout at you but i was afraid that you would leave me and never tell things to me ever again because i'm such a nag.

Later on, i would blame myself and scold, shout at myself for being such an idiot for not saying my views out. I know you have your thoughts, but not everytime, it's correct. You need some guidance. I would want to guide you, but i just dunno how. I even suck being myself.

I know you would dislike and push me aside if i ever say anything more. So i stayed quiet because it's the most safe way to maintain the whole friendship and trust thing. But after realizing, i was wrong. So wrong. It was my mistake.


Because, only a true friend who cares about you, dares to take out the guts to say the truth, and we all know the truth often hurts. And worst comes to worst, a true friend is doing this with a risk, which is losing this friendship. They're telling you just because they've seen you fallen out of the path and they're trying to lead you back into the right path by telling us the truth. But sometimes, we are blinded by our thoughts because we choose to numb ourselves and not wanting the numb to be over, because we don't want to face reality. Our mind was fully blocked til we can't see the view. Conflict occur and there goes the friendship.

So what if i finally take out the guts to tell you that you're wrong, at some ways. Would you hate me, dislike me, distance yourself away from me? I don't know but i hope you'll understand someday.

Bet you're enjoying life right now =)
Keep up the good word!!!
And good luck finding "yourself"

I'm just another passer by in your life =)

I hope you know who you are and i've kept my promise by writing this for YOU
Just to state to you again, Not all girls are the same. Just a few. You haven see the clearer view from outside of that box. So much more to learn.

Cheers~!!!


~GraceKoh~