The Thing about Relationship

“The thing that all really good marriages and love relationships have in common is that they communicate to their partner a model that when you’re upset, I listen. The world stops, and I listen. And we repair things. We don’t let things go. We don’t leave one another in pain. We talk about it, and we repair.

- Drake Baer -

On this early morning, I came across this during work. I guess God really had His timing of healing and talk through my heart when I am at my lowest. Yes, I had an unpleasant night with him yesterday after table tennis session. When we were both on our own beds, I notice that his whatsapp was constantly maintain as "online". At first I choose to ignore, but in the end I couldn't held my anger and jealousy til I asked him, "Whatcha doing?". And there was when he told me he was talking with Beliza and Su Yi. In relation to that, I was overwhelmed by my jealousy and my heart closed. I told him to enjoy himself chatting with them and wish him goodnight. I off my phone immediately. Lying there in the dark, I did thought of turning back on my phone again to see his status. But I didn't. Let alone be it and I doze off minutes later after being overly exhausted. 

Early in the morning, I received his text. Being very disappointed, he voiced out his frustration, partially. That was when I realized :-

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. 
Proverbs 10:12

I was blinded by my anger and jealousy. I forgot about gentleness because I never knew what he was going through because he never tells, share or wanted too. The reason behind was he thinks I look down on his job. Yes I admit, initially I did but I've learn to respect his decisions and at the meantime trying to lookout for better opportunities for him. But I guess the trust wasn't there. Thus, he would rather tell his colleagues or anyone else except me. How am I suppose to know what is he thinking or going through. Probably his trying to protect himself from facing the disappointment shown on my face but I guess this will not help but only distance us. 

They said in a good relationship, people are very gentle with the way they come on about a conflict. They don’t bare their fangs and leap in there; they’re very considered. Instead of pointing their finger and saying, ‘You asshole!,’ they say, ‘Hey babe, it’s not a big deal, but I need to talk about it and I need to hear from you.’ OR “When you walked out of the room, that really hurt my feelings, because I felt like what I was saying was unimportant to you. And I really need you to stay in the room when we talk about an issue.” (Instead of turning it into a debate and telling them that they’re wrong, you report how you feel). Yes I admit, resolving conflict gracefully is a skill in itself. In order to get better at conflict, we have to learn how to talk to each other emotionally — listen to each others’ conversation, a.k.a. a skill of intimate conversation.

Due to the emotional distance, I guess many miscommunication and misalignment were created. Causing conversations to end. But I guess life is really about constant learning and developing new vision, skills and fruits of the Spirit. 

What did I learn from here? 

To be more independent, confidence and strong. Overall, to overwhelm anger and jealous by fighting away with unconditional love. Last but not least, a side note for myself :-

Instead of seeing conflict as a sign that you and your partner are incompatible, you can see it as a natural, constructive part of knowing somebody really well.

Til Then.

Love,

Grace Koh

2015 : First Miracle

At 8:40pm, I received a text from Gen saying that he almost got a summon from the police while he was on the way driving home from work. The first highlighted word that came to my mind was the word "almost". I called him to drive safely first, he may revert to me once he reached home safely. While waiting for his reply on the updates, my mind ponder upon the word "almost" that he mentioned.

"What does it mean by almost?"
"So, did he got the summon from the police in the end?"
"If he didn't got the summon.."
"How was that possible?!"
"Or was it...."

My mind went cuckoo thinking about the uncertainties (things that often happens to girls, we tend to over-think things sometimes). After it felt like a long wait, his message finally came in. Immediately I start flooding him with questions without thinking twice or letting him taking a breath. haha. In the end, what happened was as attach at the below photos :-

When I've managed to understand the whole story on what had happened, I could only conclude by giving thanks to God. Though summon may seem like a minor thing but it IS still a miracle and God's grace. Without Him, how would this world be? Why did I said it was a miracle? Because we see humanity and forgiveness from the policeman. In Malaysia, to be able to run off from summon is rare (not to say there's no cases, bit it's just rare). It is either you bribe or you pay the summons. But I still thank God that the policeman was an understanding man. On the other side, Gen has spoken the truth, I mean, com'on, who wouldn't be tired and desire to go home after a long day of work?

From this incident, I learn that to speak the truth sometimes require great sacrifice. But to forgive, is divine. May Malaysians learn and grow to have more forgiveness, humanity and love. Imagine how wonderful this place shall be..

Til' then.

Love,

Grace Koh

2015 : First HairCut

Woohoo! I finally had my first haircut, coloured hair, and hair treatment (all together) for the first time! Well, probably my third time getting my hair coloured. It was my third visit to Above Hair Salon. It was located in SS15. Here, I met both Ruby and F.T.

My first visit to Above Hair Salon was 5 years ago (when I was still 15/16 years old), my experience was quite pleasant. By then I was still a student, thus could not afford for such expensive haircut. But now, I'm 24 and am currently working. So it is affordable, BUT I will only come back to this saloon once in awhile. (Because it's too pricey). However, the services provided by both Ruby and F.T. were really comfortable and well handled with flexibility (probably because the second and third time, there wasn't any customer so we could talk and laugh out loud as we wanted to). So I might consider going back.

I've always thought doing treatments were such a waste of money. But after listening to F.T.'s explanation, I begin to understand why some treatments doesn't work and there wasn't any differences after the treatment was done (not that I always go for hair treatments. In fact, this was my second hair treatment). The fact that some hair treatments did not work out was because some hair-styler were just trying to earn some money out of those (fake) treatments. So people, be wise.

In the end, I am quite satisfied with my treatments, colour and their services provided. Though, am still not getting used to having coloured hair for 2 years now, but a change is good. The thing that upset me was the fact that my skin colour is really dark! :( Having said that, it was hard for me to choose a suitable colour. However, when I reached Above Hair Salon, I could not care much but let F.T. to help me make the decisions as his been working in this line for over more than ten years now. How amazing is that?! So let the expert do their jobs ;)

Turns out, it suite well. My overall service payment was suppose to be RM313.00. However, I only have RM308.00 in my purse :( but kind F.T. is nice enough to charge me only RM300.00. Truly thanking God and thanking him for being so generous. So, I guess that's my overall sharing for today.

I couldn't get a good capture of my hair colour with my own hands. :(

But hope this would make a good memory for myself to be remembered.

F.T. and I

(Didn't manage to take a picture with Ruby as she was busy handling another customer, probably next time)

So I guess that's all I wanted to share for today. Til then. 

*My english writing is so poor! [T____T]

Love,

Grace Koh

Back to Blogging

Hi there,

Yes, I know it has been awhile. First of all, I would start out by saying Happy 2015 to all of ya who's actually reading this, including myself. I guess many of my batches had a blog, but it went inactive like mine did and some were even removed. This blog is still in the midst of being finalized. I don't really have the time to fully settle down to go through and edit it yet, but I really hope it would be finalize soon.

Here I am, blogging again. Though it took quite some effort to track back my old account, but I suppose it's worth it as the posts on what I've blogged on earlier were actually still HERE, together with some good olden-days pictures. (Which I've lost ALL of them now because of the damage caused on my hard disk. *sob*) 

But yes, that is why I am here today and the purpose of writing back again. I do have a habit of writing diary but with my current schedule at work, by the end of the day, I will be overwhelmed by my tiredness to write. So, blogger is indeed a convenient yet save place to jot every detail down together with some pictures that is worth remembering.

So yeap, I hope that my blog won't go dying again. I shall try to blog often enough so that pieces in my life will be jot down and be share with another (I hope). Above all, a blog that serves as a reminder to myself on how God's grace and love had carried me and blessed me throughout my journey in life in time of the discourage moments in life (which I'm sure we all have one of those days, and still will have). 

Til then.

Love,

Grace Koh

Godly Man

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders,
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice,
it is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks,
it's in how he keeps his word.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has,
it's how good a buddy he is with his or "your" children.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work,
it's in how he is respected at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits,
it's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest,
It's in the heart... that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved,
it's in whether he can be true to the ONE woman he's trying to love.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift,
it's in the burdens he can carry.

The strength of a man isn't in how much food he eats from your table,
it's in the effort he puts forth when you are unable.

The strength of a man isn't in how he makes love,
it's in the undestanding that there is more to making love
. . . than making love.

A godly man puts God first,
Family second,
and his work third.