HER, my life ♥♥♥

When she was young, I used to stick to her like a magnet. Remembering the day when i first met her. It felt like as if I've fallen in love with the world most cutest thing ever! I've known that my cats and "cats that i USED" to adopt are beautiful but after meeting HER, she was the ONLY thing that i have my eyes on.




Remembering every night, i always peep at her where she was sleeping under my bed. Kiss her on the forehead after saying goodnight. Rushing back home from college just to see her. First sentence when I'm back will be always either "where is she?" or "how is she doing" instead of "mummy, i'm home"





Hmmm.. i guess at my 18/19years, i've finally know how to love people and things? Hmmm.. for the first time, i manage to find things that i could love more and put my love more on them. And yes, i learned to fall in love for the very first time. Maybe not on humans yet, but animals. Humans, maybe i've found one. But i'm not sure whether that person will finally let me walk in those those doors that their hiding themselves back at =)



Not denying that it WAS very tiring. But at least she taught me be to be patient and taught me to love her more even though how much pain and headache she gave me. And most importantly, she reminds me of my parents. Weirdly, somehow she almost has the same character as i did except that the fact she LOVES milk and i dun =S

Hmmm.. Why would i say that she reminded me of my parents? Firstly, she's like a mirror to me. She reflected me. And i have responsibility to take care of her, which in another word, i'm her "parent". She was soo stubborn til i often wanted to kill her and tell her "NO!" she cant do this and that. I might be looking and babbling like i'm angry and regretting for having her from the outside but one thing still remains, my heart always aches when she did something wrong and my love for her never fades a single itch. But this was only for a year?



Imagining my parents have me as their child for 19years. How tiring it can be when you have a daughter like me? Never once i realized any of this. Not until these few months. Blaming them that they never did anything for me? Arguing that they dun understand me? What's the use? Well, maybe i didn't blame them -.-

Last night(Friday), i went down klang for a gathering with the fellowship. On the way back, i got lost. By then, it was nearly 10.30pm. The road was dark and it's a kampung road. Yes, i'm afraid and i'm so FREAKING tired because it's ald night time. With no road lights on, i have to "extra" use my eyes power to freaking look at the road so that i wont bum into some dead animal body or bang some lorry from opposite of the road that i'm driving at.

Yes, i was pissed. I just wanna go home. By the time when i got home, it was ald 11.35pm. Thank goodness manage to find the way. Tiring but yet, as i opened the front gate in order to park the car into the porch, without any effort, she jumped into the car as i opened the gate. She sat at the car's driver sit and as i got into the car, she automatically shifted herself to the passenger sit and sat down quietly. Maybe groaning a little. Like she's saying "how's your day?"

I moved the car in. I turned off car headlights. Closed my eyes and lean my head against the driver sit with a sigh. This was when she came up to me and lean her head against my chest. I hugged her and squeezed her. She never hold back but she dig her head more nearer to me. I looked at her eyes for awhile and she looked back at me. She licked my cheek *in dogs, means kissed* i kissed her back on her forehead and hugged her again.

Everything disappeared at that moment.
Tiredness, anger, disappointment, fear.
EVERYTHING.

I felt that as if i've neglected her for awhile and finally having a few days to spend with her. It paid the price. She started to understand me and showed appreciation.

For the passed few days, I spent hours bringing her out because i was going through some rough times and i needed space so i've been spending most of my time with HER. Talking, running and just staying silence with her.



Back to reality, this reminds me of my parents coming back from work. All they need is just a little appreciation and that's the most wonderful thing that can ever happened in the world.

As a conclusion for this post, i've learned that........

Firstly, if you want people to love you, you, yourself have to start by loving them first. Especially the love you have for your family, sometimes it might not be pleasant because sometimes, not because they dun love you, just that they DON'T know HOW to show or to tell you that they love you. Blame them or whatever you wanna do, but by the end of the day, they are STILL your family. I believe that God had his own purpose for putting everyone of us in different families.

Secondly, Sometimes, when you did something for them, this will make them love you even more and they'll change. This is what happened to me and her. And i'm now planning by starting of at my family =)

Qiu Hong, a friend of mine, said to me: You have to start by loving God. Because only God's love for us is real. Without loving him, you wont be able to love others. Yes, you might be able to love others but not in a correct way.

Thirdly, Don't try to change anyone because that will never happen. If you did, congraz to you. But was that person happy with who he/she become? We do not know. But what i've learn is maybe we can start by changing ourselves ;) and soon, people will see YOU for who you really are. And you might not know, maybe they'll even change? =)

Great days ahead people..


~GraceKoh~