基督徒的爱情，也许你不懂

基督徒，最幸福的事不是两个人的甜言蜜语；
最幸福的事，是跟你跪在地上一起祷告！

基督徒，最开心的事，不是跟你去游山玩水；
最开心的事，是跟你一起分享神的话！

基督徒，最仰慕你的事不是你的学历，你的知识；
最仰慕你的事，是你在神里面有智慧，有亮光！

基督徒，最爱你的事不是因为你外表如何英俊。
最爱你的事，是你在神面前反省着自己而痛哭流涕！

基督徒，最期望的事不是你事业有何伟大的前景；
最期望的事，是能跟你一起同工服事神！

基督徒，最佩服你的事不是你得到上司多高的评价；
最佩服你的事，是你能解答困惑中的人的问题！

基督徒，最温暖的事不是两个人的拥抱；
最温暖的事，是我在低谷时你能为我祷告！

基督徒，最想要的不是无名指上上万元的钻石戒指；
最想要的，是那无价的手永远牵拉着我！

基督徒，最想听的不是你嗓音发出的优美歌声；
最想听的，是从你嘴中说出的从耶和华神那里得着的智慧言语！

基督徒，最让我心动的，不是你所给人的感觉；
最让我心动的，是你在神面前那颗敬畏的心！

基督徒，最想听的不是-我爱你 
最想听的是，神真爱我，让我得着你！ 

愿每一个姐妹都做属神的智慧/贤德的妇人，也愿所有的弟兄好好珍惜爱护属于你特有的“肋骨”。

Work, will it be worth it?

They said do not treat your work life so seriously. No matter how much you have done, in the end, no one will appreciate.

Today, I finally understand that statement. Well, to cut things short, I charged overtime throughout my time charge. What I do, I will charge honestly. I admit, for the passed one month, I was fully devoted to my work and never a single day did I serve the web out of self interest.

But in reality, no one would actually believe that you had done that because no one would be able to do work fully, from beginning til the end, 8.30pm - 5.30pm. And I thought I could make a difference. haha, how silly of me.

And Deloitte's Human Resource (HR) finally request for approval to Aini. And she just finished having a chat with me. But of course it was after discussion with Fariz and they came to an agreement that we shouldn't simply charge the "overtime" even though it is under our staff benefit. When many seniors' cases were bigger than mine and Aini believe that she has distributed portfolios equally, which I couldn't be more grateful for that.

But what I'm really upset about was that the thought of not believing that people who doesn't serve web and were fully devoted to their work during working hours do not exist. Which I am one of them. At this point of time, I was wondering should i even insist on my stand. But some part of me struggle and a voice keep saying, "then what difference are you from them?".

Well, it's an ongoing thing. So, let God be my guide :)
But maybe I wouldn't charge OT anymore in future.

Are you taking God seriously?

The very reason I call myself a Christian raises the bar of what it means to live this life. It means being connected to His name I bear that I reflect Him in the life He has given me.

How can I do this if I do not spend time with Jesus Himself? The answer is - I can't.

If you try to be like Jesus without spending time with Him; try to live an abundant life while serving Him with leftovers, i.e. end of the day or only when you needed Him, you will never know / understand the depth of a true relationship with God. Satan knows this and he uses all his power to distract us by using things which made us feel good - "good things" to keep us from the best, life-changing things - presence of God Himself. 

Please Grace, think about these:-

Your schedule

Is God going to get your leftovers?
Are you going to pencil Him into your calendar?
Where can you spend more time with the Victor of your soul, the Lover of your heart, and Approver of your person?

Find a time that works for you to seek His face and know His heart - He wants to know you. STOP BEING LAZY because there isn't much time in this world to be laze around. Time is running out like a candle. Please, wake up.

What's Your View on 50 Shades of Grey?

"It's a fight that drives them not to argue mindlessly on social media but to let holiness guide every single decision of life, providing the world with both an example and answer for their faith."

- Phylicia Delta -

As I sat here reading comments of the "50 Shades of Grey", I felt awfully sad for the ones who read that book or seen / tend to see the movie. Worse, is that some people do not realized how damaging this is for them as it indirect affect their mind, marriage and indirectly create expectation for their current/future spouse. I myself, do not indeed to watch or read the book as I know my limits and I would not want to give in to lust. 

"We weigh our entertainment against the Word of God, and anything that is promoting an immoral or sinful story line, we stay away"

Unfortunately for some of the people, they couldn't seem to realize this and this results in giving way to their lust. Yes I agree sex in a marriage (under God's blessing) is good, lust is not. The director is smart enough to promote it as a Valentine's movie. Everyone has the wrong understanding that it is a "sexy and romantic" love story. In fact, romance is glaringly absent in this whole plot of this movie. Love doesn't even have a cameo role in this plot.

From the feedback that I've read so far from various authors, this movie was about a rich, handsome, experienced man uses his power to seduce and manipulate a young, innocent student (Anastasia Steele, 21 years old) into doing a lot of things which are extremely uncomfortable for her. They are not equal, they are not partners. In fact, there are no "they" in this story line. 

Rather, it was a movie about a narcissistic man's controlling and violent sexual desires and his sense of entitlement to use and abuse a vulnerable young woman's body and mind as tools for his ow gratification. It's all about his needs, coupled with the arrogant expectation that she should comply, regardless of her discomfort, to please him.

The thought of it make me sick as many ladies/women couldn't see how damaging how this movie is. With this said, how would boys/men suppose to see it? 

I read an article written by BonBonBreak.com named "A Letter to My Children about Fifty Shades of Grey" and this was what she wrote:-

Please, my daughters, don’t allow this romanticizing of sexual domestic abuse fool you into believing that you should ever allow yourself to be treated like Anastasia Steele. Please, my son, don’t watch this one day and believe that it’s ever okay to intimidate, manipulate or disrespect a woman like the ‘hero,’ Christian Grey. Nobody, male or female, wants or deserves to be disrespected, manipulated or violated against his or her wishes.

The comments received by some of her readers weren't exactly pleasant. But I guess this really shows how sick our world is. An example of the feedback from one of the readers whom read her letter wrote:-

“I have a feeling that you did not read any of the books. While I agree with some of what you are saying, you also have to have read the book to fully understand the truth of their thoughts and desires. She may have been uncomfortable with certain things, she was also curious and WANTED to try new things. While he behaviors are borderline criminal, so were the situations and self-destructive behaviors that SHE exhibited that he was trying to protect her from. Your reaction to the movie (which cannot ever fully communicate as well as a book), is your valid opinion, but is also vastly prejudiced. While the books are not for everyone, I feel that this watered down synopsis is unfair.”

“Yes the books are sexually intense but as many pointed out it is in fact fiction. And for the most part function as its best. Anne Rice an author from generations, before I was born wrote books more in depth, more visual, and much more "abusive" than 50 could have ever invested on creating. It is an incredible set of books, takes you out of reality and brings a different world for you. For me I was hooked, not because I hope one day to be tied to a bed and beaten. But because the descriptive words and plot surrounding the story was delicious and not my reality. 50 shades is a book where imagination is unlocked and taken 57929 steps forward, some like this and others don't. We can say the same about Hunger Games, Harry Potter, and Twilight... But we don't. So let's just leave all the incredible writers to their jobs, because I will continue reading. If you don't enjoy sexual bondage and being flogged... well then don't open the book and don't read it.”

It breaks my heart to see such comments being fired out. But Phylicia was right, instead of mocking on those who have chosen to elevate “modesty”, are we giving our everything as Christians? The kind of everything that hurts because it takes every part of us into consideration. A battlefield of deceit and lies and twisted, dirtied truth, desperately in need of light and purity.

As Christian, it’s about living lives of consecration, not compromise. We simply cannot live comprised lives up to 50 Shades of Grey and other extra sins. Holiness starts long before that and it starts with a heart that desires God. The Spirit of God truly dictate that we are consuming, doing and wearing because we love Him, and He deserves it.

Dear All, we are made for the surpassing love of Jesus Christ. Knowing that His love is the motive for us to give everything is more than enough to live this life. What would yours be?

The Thing about Relationship

“The thing that all really good marriages and love relationships have in common is that they communicate to their partner a model that when you’re upset, I listen. The world stops, and I listen. And we repair things. We don’t let things go. We don’t leave one another in pain. We talk about it, and we repair.

- Drake Baer -

On this early morning, I came across this during work. I guess God really had His timing of healing and talk through my heart when I am at my lowest. Yes, I had an unpleasant night with him yesterday after table tennis session. When we were both on our own beds, I notice that his whatsapp was constantly maintain as "online". At first I choose to ignore, but in the end I couldn't held my anger and jealousy til I asked him, "Whatcha doing?". And there was when he told me he was talking with Beliza and Su Yi. In relation to that, I was overwhelmed by my jealousy and my heart closed. I told him to enjoy himself chatting with them and wish him goodnight. I off my phone immediately. Lying there in the dark, I did thought of turning back on my phone again to see his status. But I didn't. Let alone be it and I doze off minutes later after being overly exhausted. 

Early in the morning, I received his text. Being very disappointed, he voiced out his frustration, partially. That was when I realized :-

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. 
Proverbs 10:12

I was blinded by my anger and jealousy. I forgot about gentleness because I never knew what he was going through because he never tells, share or wanted too. The reason behind was he thinks I look down on his job. Yes I admit, initially I did but I've learn to respect his decisions and at the meantime trying to lookout for better opportunities for him. But I guess the trust wasn't there. Thus, he would rather tell his colleagues or anyone else except me. How am I suppose to know what is he thinking or going through. Probably his trying to protect himself from facing the disappointment shown on my face but I guess this will not help but only distance us. 

They said in a good relationship, people are very gentle with the way they come on about a conflict. They don’t bare their fangs and leap in there; they’re very considered. Instead of pointing their finger and saying, ‘You asshole!,’ they say, ‘Hey babe, it’s not a big deal, but I need to talk about it and I need to hear from you.’ OR “When you walked out of the room, that really hurt my feelings, because I felt like what I was saying was unimportant to you. And I really need you to stay in the room when we talk about an issue.” (Instead of turning it into a debate and telling them that they’re wrong, you report how you feel). Yes I admit, resolving conflict gracefully is a skill in itself. In order to get better at conflict, we have to learn how to talk to each other emotionally — listen to each others’ conversation, a.k.a. a skill of intimate conversation.

Due to the emotional distance, I guess many miscommunication and misalignment were created. Causing conversations to end. But I guess life is really about constant learning and developing new vision, skills and fruits of the Spirit. 

What did I learn from here? 

To be more independent, confidence and strong. Overall, to overwhelm anger and jealous by fighting away with unconditional love. Last but not least, a side note for myself :-

Instead of seeing conflict as a sign that you and your partner are incompatible, you can see it as a natural, constructive part of knowing somebody really well.

Til Then.

Love,

Grace Koh

2015 : First Miracle

At 8:40pm, I received a text from Gen saying that he almost got a summon from the police while he was on the way driving home from work. The first highlighted word that came to my mind was the word "almost". I called him to drive safely first, he may revert to me once he reached home safely. While waiting for his reply on the updates, my mind ponder upon the word "almost" that he mentioned.

"What does it mean by almost?"
"So, did he got the summon from the police in the end?"
"If he didn't got the summon.."
"How was that possible?!"
"Or was it...."

My mind went cuckoo thinking about the uncertainties (things that often happens to girls, we tend to over-think things sometimes). After it felt like a long wait, his message finally came in. Immediately I start flooding him with questions without thinking twice or letting him taking a breath. haha. In the end, what happened was as attach at the below photos :-

When I've managed to understand the whole story on what had happened, I could only conclude by giving thanks to God. Though summon may seem like a minor thing but it IS still a miracle and God's grace. Without Him, how would this world be? Why did I said it was a miracle? Because we see humanity and forgiveness from the policeman. In Malaysia, to be able to run off from summon is rare (not to say there's no cases, bit it's just rare). It is either you bribe or you pay the summons. But I still thank God that the policeman was an understanding man. On the other side, Gen has spoken the truth, I mean, com'on, who wouldn't be tired and desire to go home after a long day of work?

From this incident, I learn that to speak the truth sometimes require great sacrifice. But to forgive, is divine. May Malaysians learn and grow to have more forgiveness, humanity and love. Imagine how wonderful this place shall be..

Til' then.

Love,

Grace Koh

2015 : First HairCut

Woohoo! I finally had my first haircut, coloured hair, and hair treatment (all together) for the first time! Well, probably my third time getting my hair coloured. It was my third visit to Above Hair Salon. It was located in SS15. Here, I met both Ruby and F.T.

My first visit to Above Hair Salon was 5 years ago (when I was still 15/16 years old), my experience was quite pleasant. By then I was still a student, thus could not afford for such expensive haircut. But now, I'm 24 and am currently working. So it is affordable, BUT I will only come back to this saloon once in awhile. (Because it's too pricey). However, the services provided by both Ruby and F.T. were really comfortable and well handled with flexibility (probably because the second and third time, there wasn't any customer so we could talk and laugh out loud as we wanted to). So I might consider going back.

I've always thought doing treatments were such a waste of money. But after listening to F.T.'s explanation, I begin to understand why some treatments doesn't work and there wasn't any differences after the treatment was done (not that I always go for hair treatments. In fact, this was my second hair treatment). The fact that some hair treatments did not work out was because some hair-styler were just trying to earn some money out of those (fake) treatments. So people, be wise.

In the end, I am quite satisfied with my treatments, colour and their services provided. Though, am still not getting used to having coloured hair for 2 years now, but a change is good. The thing that upset me was the fact that my skin colour is really dark! :( Having said that, it was hard for me to choose a suitable colour. However, when I reached Above Hair Salon, I could not care much but let F.T. to help me make the decisions as his been working in this line for over more than ten years now. How amazing is that?! So let the expert do their jobs ;)

Turns out, it suite well. My overall service payment was suppose to be RM313.00. However, I only have RM308.00 in my purse :( but kind F.T. is nice enough to charge me only RM300.00. Truly thanking God and thanking him for being so generous. So, I guess that's my overall sharing for today.

I couldn't get a good capture of my hair colour with my own hands. :(

But hope this would make a good memory for myself to be remembered.

F.T. and I

(Didn't manage to take a picture with Ruby as she was busy handling another customer, probably next time)

So I guess that's all I wanted to share for today. Til then. 

*My english writing is so poor! [T____T]

Love,

Grace Koh

Back to Blogging

Hi there,

Yes, I know it has been awhile. First of all, I would start out by saying Happy 2015 to all of ya who's actually reading this, including myself. I guess many of my batches had a blog, but it went inactive like mine did and some were even removed. This blog is still in the midst of being finalized. I don't really have the time to fully settle down to go through and edit it yet, but I really hope it would be finalize soon.

Here I am, blogging again. Though it took quite some effort to track back my old account, but I suppose it's worth it as the posts on what I've blogged on earlier were actually still HERE, together with some good olden-days pictures. (Which I've lost ALL of them now because of the damage caused on my hard disk. *sob*) 

But yes, that is why I am here today and the purpose of writing back again. I do have a habit of writing diary but with my current schedule at work, by the end of the day, I will be overwhelmed by my tiredness to write. So, blogger is indeed a convenient yet save place to jot every detail down together with some pictures that is worth remembering.

So yeap, I hope that my blog won't go dying again. I shall try to blog often enough so that pieces in my life will be jot down and be share with another (I hope). Above all, a blog that serves as a reminder to myself on how God's grace and love had carried me and blessed me throughout my journey in life in time of the discourage moments in life (which I'm sure we all have one of those days, and still will have). 

Til then.

Love,

Grace Koh

Godly Man

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders,
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle and protect you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice,
it is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't in the words he speaks,
it's in how he keeps his word.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has,
it's how good a buddy he is with his or "your" children.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work,
it's in how he is respected at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits,
it's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest,
It's in the heart... that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved,
it's in whether he can be true to the ONE woman he's trying to love.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift,
it's in the burdens he can carry.

The strength of a man isn't in how much food he eats from your table,
it's in the effort he puts forth when you are unable.

The strength of a man isn't in how he makes love,
it's in the undestanding that there is more to making love
. . . than making love.

A godly man puts God first,
Family second,
and his work third.